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B Jones's avatar

I’ve been married for 15 years. We got married at SF City Hall, and used the savings on the venue to pay for airfare and hotels for all of our guests, so nobody had to spend a dime. It was an unconventional approach, but the ceremony was beautiful and we have very sweet memories of the day, including friends and family who could not have made it otherwise. I think it is important to plan a wedding that is going to align most with your values.

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The Style Investigator's avatar

Almost all the weddings I went to in my 20s ended in divorce. It was great to get married myself for the first time at 42; there was virtually no pressure (family or social) to do things any certain way but what was right for us.

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Gail's avatar

As I look back on my very traditional American wedding, 43 years ago, a good band was all that was needed for everyone to have a good time! People still talk about what a great wedding we had!

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Lucy's avatar

Love this piece! There is something special about celebrating marriage with a beautiful wedding, but we tend to forget it is indeed a celebration and not a stressful task to check off the list.

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Frankie de la Cretaz's avatar

As a queer elder millennial: a) I never had a “wedding season” like the straight people I know did. It’s a very straight thing! Queer people I know either aren’t getting married or are doing so I ways that take their community’s availability into consideration, and b) as a 24yo, get ready for this: lots of women aged 27-35 who get divorced either 1) bc the man they married in their mid-20s actually sucks, or 2) they’re lesbians (post-Saturn return breakups are v common)

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Pamela Rodriguez's avatar

Loved this piece. I'm 28 now (unmarried) and I've attended 14 weddings (!!!!) and 7 bachelorette weekends in the last 7 years. When I say that shit ADDS UP.... 😅. I'm grateful for the opportunity to have been a part of them. Still, as someone who never really grew up thinking of my wedding, it has solidified some opinions I have re: the wedding industry as a whole and how much of a really big deal I want to make out of my eventual wedding (and what's worth the money vs not worth it). It's also shown me which people in my life thrive being in the spotlight, haha.

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American Escapee's avatar

As an American this is how I feel…

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Rita's avatar

This was so enlightening to read. I’m 28 and I’ve never been to a wedding. I also haven’t thought of ever having a wedding since my breakup 3 years ago. I totally get being on the fence when it comes to “to spend or not to spend” even if I do know there are ways to celebrate love without spending all your lifetime savings. Lucky we don’t have to decide today. 😌

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Caroline Beuley's avatar

My god, I felt this so much. You are indeed on a precipice. When I was twenty-four, I had been to one friend's wedding, now I'm lucky to go one month without one haha *laughs through tears* They're so beautiful and special, but they're also soooooo expensive. Add on the bachelorettes, and it's basically all your discretionary spending money for the year (if not more!). I am looking forward to the moment when all my friends are married and the wedding train slows down!

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Joy's avatar
Jun 29Edited

Love this deep dive! Four weddings was my favorite too, and I was definitely planning my future wedding complete with dress shape and cake flavor.

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