My girlfriend and I were just having this discussion because she's a teacher and directly sees this early obsession with anti-aging among young girls. Something that socially liberalized culture and technology do in tandem is show our revealed preferences since we are all given near-maximum freedom to do whatever we want. Whether those preferences are biologically natural or culturally learned is besides the point because either way, we end up with pre-teen girls already worrying about wrinkles.
This type of behavior is to be expected in a youth-obsessed culture, and much of the gender wars between men and women come down to which gender gets the privilege of staying/behaving young longer. For instance, the increasing rage against age gap relationships, even among fully adult men and women, is at least partially fueled by women's anger that men get to act younger longer. The fury over abortion and birth rates is also tied to this because parenthood, especially motherhood (due to the physical changes that childbirth brings, as well as greater social scrutiny on mothers than fathers), truly marks the end of maintaining a youthful lifestyle unless one wants to risk harsh societal judgment. But somebody has to have children, and in a culture that is sharply devaluing having families and growing older, it makes sense that women deeply resent being born with a womb (which I also think at least partially motivates some cis het women's fervent support of trans issues, because of their interest in wanting to separate the definition of womanhood from biological childbearing).
I think the intersection of social media and capitalism has played a huge part in today’s teens -- particularly young girls -- obsession with looking older or having “older” interests. Since it’s commonplace now for middle and upper class teens to have their own iPhone, they can download Instagram and TikTok, where they’re constantly exposed to ads (whether it be a straight up ad or a haul or get-ready-with-me, etc.) for makeup and clothing that adult women wear. Whereas when older gen z and millennials were growing up, we were just being introduced to smartphones and social media. The advertising we were exposed to was still pretty traditional so there was more of a disconnect, imo. We might have wanted to wear heels or borrow our moms’ lipstick but that was the extent of it because we didn’t have exposure or access to those interests the way younger girls do now. Especially if you factor in how many of these girls may also have access to their parents’ credit cards, it’s too easy for them now to see something they like on the Instagram shop tab and use Apple Pay. Whereas I had to beg and plead my mother for $20 to go and buy something at forever 21 lol. So I think, as you stated, younger girls have always wanted to look older and women have always wanted to look younger, but the big difference now is that we all have more access to items that help us do just that, so it appears as if today’s girls are skipping the preteen or awkward teen phase when really they are just being exposed to capitalism on a scale we never were.
Ugh that’s such a good point! In addition to capitalism ramping the matter, I think social media becoming increasingly invasive has also just brought the phenomena into sharper relief for us. We’re able to see it in such a more blatant way
So true! There's definitely a performance aspect to it as well. When I was growing up, my access to social media/content creation was silly Photo Booth pictures, iMovie projects with my friends, and exaggerated Instagram filters from the early 2010s. It feels like kids these days don't get to experience the fun side of content creation in (relative) privacy.
Incredible piece! You have a great understanding of--and ability to analyze--the evolution of how we view societal tendencies. Typical conversations around these matters seem to center around the idea that “everything is different nowadays” when it’s simply the modes in which “everything” is happening that has changed, not the actual behaviors at hand. It makes me think a lot about what has not changed, in the US in particular, but has either been intentionally disguised or otherwise viewed differently because of technology and media.
Thank you! I feel like thinking this way also connects us generationally. So many of our tendencies today are salves for symptoms that past generations have also experienced.
This article reminds me of a Mitski song (first love/late spring) that says “And I was so young
When I behaved
Twenty five
Yet now I find
I've grown into
A tall child”
This blurred paradox between the feeling of “finally growing up” and the attempt to rescue the child you would have liked to be, especially with woman, is really something else.. thanks for putting this discussion out, it’s really something we need to reflect about!
Wonderful piece as always! I was planning to write about this as well, and the history and "reclamation" of the word coquette, especially how that manifests in a modern context. Loved this :)
My girlfriend and I were just having this discussion because she's a teacher and directly sees this early obsession with anti-aging among young girls. Something that socially liberalized culture and technology do in tandem is show our revealed preferences since we are all given near-maximum freedom to do whatever we want. Whether those preferences are biologically natural or culturally learned is besides the point because either way, we end up with pre-teen girls already worrying about wrinkles.
This type of behavior is to be expected in a youth-obsessed culture, and much of the gender wars between men and women come down to which gender gets the privilege of staying/behaving young longer. For instance, the increasing rage against age gap relationships, even among fully adult men and women, is at least partially fueled by women's anger that men get to act younger longer. The fury over abortion and birth rates is also tied to this because parenthood, especially motherhood (due to the physical changes that childbirth brings, as well as greater social scrutiny on mothers than fathers), truly marks the end of maintaining a youthful lifestyle unless one wants to risk harsh societal judgment. But somebody has to have children, and in a culture that is sharply devaluing having families and growing older, it makes sense that women deeply resent being born with a womb (which I also think at least partially motivates some cis het women's fervent support of trans issues, because of their interest in wanting to separate the definition of womanhood from biological childbearing).
I think the intersection of social media and capitalism has played a huge part in today’s teens -- particularly young girls -- obsession with looking older or having “older” interests. Since it’s commonplace now for middle and upper class teens to have their own iPhone, they can download Instagram and TikTok, where they’re constantly exposed to ads (whether it be a straight up ad or a haul or get-ready-with-me, etc.) for makeup and clothing that adult women wear. Whereas when older gen z and millennials were growing up, we were just being introduced to smartphones and social media. The advertising we were exposed to was still pretty traditional so there was more of a disconnect, imo. We might have wanted to wear heels or borrow our moms’ lipstick but that was the extent of it because we didn’t have exposure or access to those interests the way younger girls do now. Especially if you factor in how many of these girls may also have access to their parents’ credit cards, it’s too easy for them now to see something they like on the Instagram shop tab and use Apple Pay. Whereas I had to beg and plead my mother for $20 to go and buy something at forever 21 lol. So I think, as you stated, younger girls have always wanted to look older and women have always wanted to look younger, but the big difference now is that we all have more access to items that help us do just that, so it appears as if today’s girls are skipping the preteen or awkward teen phase when really they are just being exposed to capitalism on a scale we never were.
Ugh that’s such a good point! In addition to capitalism ramping the matter, I think social media becoming increasingly invasive has also just brought the phenomena into sharper relief for us. We’re able to see it in such a more blatant way
So true! There's definitely a performance aspect to it as well. When I was growing up, my access to social media/content creation was silly Photo Booth pictures, iMovie projects with my friends, and exaggerated Instagram filters from the early 2010s. It feels like kids these days don't get to experience the fun side of content creation in (relative) privacy.
Incredible piece! You have a great understanding of--and ability to analyze--the evolution of how we view societal tendencies. Typical conversations around these matters seem to center around the idea that “everything is different nowadays” when it’s simply the modes in which “everything” is happening that has changed, not the actual behaviors at hand. It makes me think a lot about what has not changed, in the US in particular, but has either been intentionally disguised or otherwise viewed differently because of technology and media.
Thank you! I feel like thinking this way also connects us generationally. So many of our tendencies today are salves for symptoms that past generations have also experienced.
This article reminds me of a Mitski song (first love/late spring) that says “And I was so young
When I behaved
Twenty five
Yet now I find
I've grown into
A tall child”
This blurred paradox between the feeling of “finally growing up” and the attempt to rescue the child you would have liked to be, especially with woman, is really something else.. thanks for putting this discussion out, it’s really something we need to reflect about!
Such a beautiful song, thank you for sharing and reading :)
oof. i was waiting to finish up my holiday to write about this but do i even need to anymore??? ur just unmatched. so excellent!!!!
Thank you so much <3 means the world coming from you!
That ivory soap ad is so crazy.. great piece!
So crazy... thank you so much for reading <33!
Wonderful piece as always! I was planning to write about this as well, and the history and "reclamation" of the word coquette, especially how that manifests in a modern context. Loved this :)
Would be very interested in reading a piece about the new uses of the word “coquette”!! Def a fascinating topic