I don't want to sound like an older sister, but I'm gonna do it anyways. I think we get independence all wrong. Independence isn't avoiding people and shutting ppl out. It's knowing when to lean in and connect with others. It's being secure enough to admit when we need help or companionship, then taking the steps to reach out. This is really scary and vulnerable bc rejection sucks but it's what forms real, deep connection. Like Rooney said, humans are inherently interdependent, and a significant part of connection is understanding that our strength often comes from healthy reliance on others, not isolation. Leaning heavy into the nonchalant spectrum as a form of self-preservation is doomed for heartbreak. I did this all wrong growing up and throughout my 20s, and am only unlearning it now <3
I don't want to sound like an older sister, but I'm gonna do it anyways. I think we get independence all wrong. Independence isn't avoiding people and shutting ppl out. It's knowing when to lean in and connect with others. It's being secure enough to admit when we need help or companionship, then taking the steps to reach out. This is really scary and vulnerable bc rejection sucks but it's what forms real, deep connection. Like Rooney said, humans are inherently interdependent, and a significant part of connection is understanding that our strength often comes from healthy reliance on others, not isolation. Leaning heavy into the nonchalant spectrum as a form of self-preservation is doomed for heartbreak. I did this all wrong growing up and throughout my 20s, and am only unlearning it now <3
are there spoilers for the book in this article? it seemed like it so i stopped reading - can you add a spoiler alert if so?
There are! Apologies about that - just added the disclaimer
Ah I really loved this, Madison!! The Ivan/dog/Margaret vignette is one that stayed with me, as well.
Thank you so much!! Ur piece inspired me quite a bit :)