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Michael Rance's avatar

This really hit the spot for me, especially as a PNW kid raised Catholic haha. So much of the image of Catholicism is one of aesthetic maximalism: massive cathedrals, stories-tall stained glass, long drawn-out prayers and masses, incense, etc., and I think a huge part of that has to do with the church wanting to affect how an individual sees their place within the church. Lots of protestant churches in the US are sort of sparse looking, and I think the point of that choice is to draw the individual away from the splendor and towards oneself. A lot of these denominations prioritize an individual relationship with God, whereas with Catholicism the individual relationship is not the point.

In Catholicism you're supposed to feel like a small part of a larger thing, where the individual is really not the most important thing. You're supposed to be humbled by the splendor of the church. It's a perspective that's kind of at odds with the hyper individualism of the US, so it's interesting to see how celebrities and some Americans try to grab onto Catholicism as an individual expression when that's quite literally not the point!

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Annika's avatar

I nodded the entire time I read this. I think the current fascination with religion also stems from a need for real (offline) community and need for structure and even leadership. I've always been fascinated by religion, but still resist the institutions surrounding it.

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jani's avatar

i think this is sooo true. everyone's fascination with the pope and the conclave, despite their own religious belief, stems from a need for structure, for ongoing tradition and ritual. in a world full of uncertainty, the pomp and circumstance of religion remains solid. hell, even my hindu and muslim friends were spamming the group chats when the new pope's name was announced.

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Franes B.E.'s avatar

Wonderfully argued. The last line really drove home the point...

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JMH's avatar

So beautifully put … I agree there is a yearning for “more” while there is a real uncertainty of what that may be or how to get it.

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mary wallace's avatar

Great essay! It reminds me of growing up Baptist and wanting to be Catholic because of the perceived grandeur and ritual. Aside from a monthly “Lord’s Supper” the Baptist church didn’t have much ritual or tradition, unless you count candlelit Christmas Eve services. I remember being so fascinated by the Catholic church’s strict adherences and otherworldly architecture. To me, that really exemplified what church and religion were, and it sounds crazy to say this considering how mainstream Catholicism still is, but I thought being Catholic would set me apart from others, signifying that I have these strong beliefs and belong to this group of people. I think since Catholicism is tied to so many different cultures across the world (Latin America, the Irish, Italians, etc.) I associated it with this “otherness” that was different to the mostly white, middle class conservative crowd at my own church. It’s like what you said at the beginning, I felt like my church and by extension America itself, had no culture and I wanted to be part of something that I perceived as having more culture. Glad I’m atheist now lol!

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Nathan Matthieu Tang's avatar

I think our fascination with beauty despite certain resistant beliefs shows that we were made to not be isolated people and made to experience transcendent beauty together. Catholicism is special because it is able to integrate the mystical and transcendental with a visible structure, visible sacraments, and a systematic belief system which I think speaks to the common description of the Church as “both/and” rather than “either/or”. And I think this coincides with our idea of romance, the seeming contradictions that God rests in.

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Jen D's avatar

Your experience is similar to mine (hi from the Midwest)-- religion as background, then in-group signifier (first pro-Jesus via "Silver Ring Thing" and cool-kid after-school devotion sessions, then Anti-church). I love that you drew a parallel to "surrender" and an ability to hold "and."

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Madison Huizinga's avatar

Thank you!! So glad this resonated with you :D

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