I feel this 100%. I’ve honestly thought to myself many times “why is it so hard for me to listen” in the past year, and wondering if going sober somehow made me aware of an undiagnosed attention disorder. I think we are in a near constant state of sensory and data overstimulation that is making it harder to self-regulate and engage, especially in auditory content like a verbal conversation. Even as listening becomes harder, however, there is a thirst to listen and to feel the immediacy and weight of a conversation in a world in which our physical presence is heavily intermediated by phones, AirPods, and other devices. Readership also feels like hospitality, and somehow feels more manageable in this world of constant distraction. The act of reading lets us give honor to the thought in full. I may get distracted 1-2 sentences into a verbal discussion about a trip to India, but I would read a 10,000 word Substack about it. Maybe in this imperfect world of noise and distraction readership is the space we can hold for each other.
Listening is one of the biggest social services you can provide for society. We respond, always. Letting words flow and go is a beautiful skill to have :-)
the imagery of your brain overheating + potentially catching on fire really hit home! that’s exactly how modern overstimulation feels, at least for me.
because I love this essay — i’d be curious to read (another piece) about your year’s quiet theme of “unabashed hospitality.” what motivated you to focus on it, and what other insights have you gained from the experience? thank you for sharing!
Thank you Kaitlyn! Linking these articles here: one is about me quitting weekly therapy and picking up weekly tutoring. Another is about my trip to India and the amazing hospitality I experienced :)
I'm a listener, too, and it drives me crazy when people ask a question and then don't listen. I don't handle it coolly any more, I just cut out. Not irreverently but a decision has been made, and I just don't feel like indulging non-listeners any more. I think it's a step forward, for me.
I feel this 100%. I’ve honestly thought to myself many times “why is it so hard for me to listen” in the past year, and wondering if going sober somehow made me aware of an undiagnosed attention disorder. I think we are in a near constant state of sensory and data overstimulation that is making it harder to self-regulate and engage, especially in auditory content like a verbal conversation. Even as listening becomes harder, however, there is a thirst to listen and to feel the immediacy and weight of a conversation in a world in which our physical presence is heavily intermediated by phones, AirPods, and other devices. Readership also feels like hospitality, and somehow feels more manageable in this world of constant distraction. The act of reading lets us give honor to the thought in full. I may get distracted 1-2 sentences into a verbal discussion about a trip to India, but I would read a 10,000 word Substack about it. Maybe in this imperfect world of noise and distraction readership is the space we can hold for each other.
Listening is one of the biggest social services you can provide for society. We respond, always. Letting words flow and go is a beautiful skill to have :-)
the imagery of your brain overheating + potentially catching on fire really hit home! that’s exactly how modern overstimulation feels, at least for me.
because I love this essay — i’d be curious to read (another piece) about your year’s quiet theme of “unabashed hospitality.” what motivated you to focus on it, and what other insights have you gained from the experience? thank you for sharing!
Thank you Kaitlyn! Linking these articles here: one is about me quitting weekly therapy and picking up weekly tutoring. Another is about my trip to India and the amazing hospitality I experienced :)
https://madisonhuizinga.substack.com/p/its-time-to-quit-therapy
https://madisonhuizinga.substack.com/p/its-time-to-quit-therapy
I'm a listener, too, and it drives me crazy when people ask a question and then don't listen. I don't handle it coolly any more, I just cut out. Not irreverently but a decision has been made, and I just don't feel like indulging non-listeners any more. I think it's a step forward, for me.