This is such an interesting piece, thank you! I’ve been in intensive therapy for the last two years and one of the things I’ve found to be a really amazing middle ground is group therapy. There’s space to reflect on your own challenges and connect with others in a way you may have not been able to. It also takes you away from yourselves, and I think it’s helped me move away from feeling so focused on myself (which I know I was in the early stages of my recovery). I’ve just finished a DBT group programme and I’m slowly transition to a place where I’m looking to replicate what I get from group but in a less clinical/traditionally therapeutic setting. For me, it’s been volunteering for a mental health charity and meditating in groups.
I love this! I feel like the expectation that people just stay in therapy forever kind of negates the entire purpose of therapy and the fact that you're supposed to then carry what you learn in therapy into the real world rather than staying internal.
I had a challenging 2024 (my mom was battling cancer) and I stopped with therapy for the whole year because I was busy taking care of her. I found myself often saying that I was optimistic about her situation, and, between work and being with her, had no time to feel sorry for myself. I felt that the therapy I had received for the couple of years prior gave me the tools I needed to face the situation. This year, she is healthy again (yay!) but I’ve found myself ruminating, as you say… sigh… it’s not a linear path, but it certainly helps to get outside and smell the roses.
I stopped going to therapy and started teaching fitness (and occasionally kids' dance classes) again. The latter ultimately has been more beneficial. You nailed it – connecting with something outside of the self is the key!!
I hear your concerns, but I see it so differently. In my experience, going all in on therapy and introspection has been profoundly transformative. It's not about becoming self-absorbed—it’s about finally understanding why we do what we do, so we can stop repeating the same painful patterns. Real self-work teaches empathy, emotional regulation, and deeper connection with others. It’s not navel-gazing—it’s clearing the clutter so we can show up more fully, with clarity and compassion, in every area of life. My 25+ years of therapy have actually taken me to a place of helping others. Therapy doesn't change your personality, it changes your perspective. Appreciate your perspective here and beautifully written. Sending love ❤️
As a trans person who has spent the last year and half in therapy, I find myself not wanting it as much. The thing that was holding me back has been dealt with. The storm is ended and now I want to bask in the sunshine & live! ☺️ great read!
Love this!!! From my experience, there is so much more life outside of ourselves than inside. Selflessness is a cure to SO many things, as long as you're using it in the right places :)
Wow—yes to all of this. As a therapist, I’ve seen how easy it is for the pendulum to swing from self-awareness into self-absorption. Therapy is powerful, but when it becomes the only lens through which we view ourselves, we can start chasing “healing” like it’s a finish line—and miss the part where we’re meant to actually live and give.
That’s a huge part of why we created Twisted Willow—to break out of the endless loop of self-fixation and bring people back into connection, joy, and shared growth. Healing doesn’t always have to be in the old school model.
Your post was such a breath of fresh air. Thank you for naming what so many of us feel but don’t say out loud. More of this !!
Hi Madison, I came across your post through a fellow Substacker- you put words to things I have been thinking about for a long time re: therapy. I quit a couple of weeks ago because I felt like too much time in our inner world, exhausts us and distracts us from changing the systems that fail us. I recently wrote about how the individualism and inwardness clouds are capacity to engage with others socially and politically. Would love your thoughts! https://substack.com/@pocketsofeverydayfeminism/note/p-163269194
Oh, you really went in. I appreciate this. I'm so sick of therapy speak.
This is such an interesting piece, thank you! I’ve been in intensive therapy for the last two years and one of the things I’ve found to be a really amazing middle ground is group therapy. There’s space to reflect on your own challenges and connect with others in a way you may have not been able to. It also takes you away from yourselves, and I think it’s helped me move away from feeling so focused on myself (which I know I was in the early stages of my recovery). I’ve just finished a DBT group programme and I’m slowly transition to a place where I’m looking to replicate what I get from group but in a less clinical/traditionally therapeutic setting. For me, it’s been volunteering for a mental health charity and meditating in groups.
I love this! I feel like the expectation that people just stay in therapy forever kind of negates the entire purpose of therapy and the fact that you're supposed to then carry what you learn in therapy into the real world rather than staying internal.
This was such a great and relatable read.
I had a challenging 2024 (my mom was battling cancer) and I stopped with therapy for the whole year because I was busy taking care of her. I found myself often saying that I was optimistic about her situation, and, between work and being with her, had no time to feel sorry for myself. I felt that the therapy I had received for the couple of years prior gave me the tools I needed to face the situation. This year, she is healthy again (yay!) but I’ve found myself ruminating, as you say… sigh… it’s not a linear path, but it certainly helps to get outside and smell the roses.
Thank you so much for sharing :) So happy to hear this resonated with you and that your mom is doing better!
lmaooo your read on celebrities and anxiety" is absolute perfection
I stopped going to therapy and started teaching fitness (and occasionally kids' dance classes) again. The latter ultimately has been more beneficial. You nailed it – connecting with something outside of the self is the key!!
I hear your concerns, but I see it so differently. In my experience, going all in on therapy and introspection has been profoundly transformative. It's not about becoming self-absorbed—it’s about finally understanding why we do what we do, so we can stop repeating the same painful patterns. Real self-work teaches empathy, emotional regulation, and deeper connection with others. It’s not navel-gazing—it’s clearing the clutter so we can show up more fully, with clarity and compassion, in every area of life. My 25+ years of therapy have actually taken me to a place of helping others. Therapy doesn't change your personality, it changes your perspective. Appreciate your perspective here and beautifully written. Sending love ❤️
A thousand times yes.
i literally think about that didion quote all the time. beautiful as always!!!
Ahh thank you! 🥰
As a trans person who has spent the last year and half in therapy, I find myself not wanting it as much. The thing that was holding me back has been dealt with. The storm is ended and now I want to bask in the sunshine & live! ☺️ great read!
Love this!!! From my experience, there is so much more life outside of ourselves than inside. Selflessness is a cure to SO many things, as long as you're using it in the right places :)
love love love this one
ahhh thank you!!
Wow—yes to all of this. As a therapist, I’ve seen how easy it is for the pendulum to swing from self-awareness into self-absorption. Therapy is powerful, but when it becomes the only lens through which we view ourselves, we can start chasing “healing” like it’s a finish line—and miss the part where we’re meant to actually live and give.
That’s a huge part of why we created Twisted Willow—to break out of the endless loop of self-fixation and bring people back into connection, joy, and shared growth. Healing doesn’t always have to be in the old school model.
Your post was such a breath of fresh air. Thank you for naming what so many of us feel but don’t say out loud. More of this !!
🩷Corinne
Hi Madison, I came across your post through a fellow Substacker- you put words to things I have been thinking about for a long time re: therapy. I quit a couple of weeks ago because I felt like too much time in our inner world, exhausts us and distracts us from changing the systems that fail us. I recently wrote about how the individualism and inwardness clouds are capacity to engage with others socially and politically. Would love your thoughts! https://substack.com/@pocketsofeverydayfeminism/note/p-163269194