Buzzwords and Buzzkill
Not Everything Should Be Taken at Face Value
Every few weeks or so, all who choose to partake in the great human project known as the internet are tasked with a choice. It’s a choice that was once made more unconsciously, in my opinion. Today, it’s often made with a bit more intention, particularly among specific types of internet tastemakers (influencers, Twitter celebrities, bloggers, Instagram brands, and the like). I’m talking about the choice that arises when a particular word or phrase seizes the public’s fascination. A specific video or tweet featuring this particular word or phrase will enter public circulation, cementing itself deeper into the zeitgeist with each share, building in virality like a rollercoaster gaining potential energy as it climbs, like a matchstick growing hotter with each strike. And then before you know it, it reaches its peak viral status, becoming adopted by A- and B-list non-internet personnel, and being investigated by legacy media publications with curious, but detached, fervor.
The choice that we - and I’m addressing the terminally online crowd, specifically - must make is whether we will partake in the trend or not. Trend words and phrases begin and die online - the internet is the first to coin a viral catchphrase and the first to deem it fatigued. The internet also deems what particular niche the word or phrase falls into - whether it’s used among more ironic, esoteric crowds, or if it’s become too mainstream - or too “cheugy” - to reclaim and satirize. As such, we must ask ourselves whether it’s worth risking cultural clout to use a word or phrase that will potentially become obsolete or associated with an unsavory group in an amount of time that is undisclosed but is increasingly shrinking.
For writers, journalists, and marketers, an additional question is posed: will we take the trend bait? Will we choose to capitalize on the salience of a cultural moment that might not turn out to be that salient at all? Or at least not beyond a few months? Will we attempt to mine the word or phrase for a deeper meaning beyond it being fun to say and a way to signify community? How do we forecast what will stick? How can we tell whether the trend is altering our social fabric - irrevocably changing how we relate to ourselves and our communities - or whether it’s just a kind of temporary, lighthearted performance?
“Very demure, very mindful” has been the most recent buzz phrase at the time of writing. Suppose you’re reading this essay one week after it’s been published, or, perhaps, five years after it’s been published. In either case, the internet has moved onto another star catchphrase, guaranteed, so allow me to remind you what “very demure, very mindful” was all about. On August 5th, 2024, TikTok user Jools Lebron posted a video explaining how to be “demure and modest and respectful at the work place,” in a jokingly condescending tone. “See how I do my makeup for work? Very demure, very mindful,” Jools tells viewers, showing off her neutral eyeshadow look and sensible top (“only a little ‘chichi’ out, not my ‘chocho’”). She explains that many of us viewers show up to job interviews looking like Marge Simpson - overly loud and eccentric, not paying much attention to the occasion, and the ensemble and behavior it requires.
Shortly after the original video was posted, the phrase naturally spread across the internet in a kind of frenzy - an open wound in a pool of sharks. Replication videos and co-opted copy in TikTok captions and email campaigns for fashion and beauty brands like Anthropologie, Maybelline, NARS, and more began popping up - all eager to cash in on the en vogue phrase.
I don’t think it’s too far-fetched to say that people are initially drawn to viral verbiage because of the sheer sound of it. The onomatopoeia of it all. “Very demure, very mindful,” is spoken with a kind of understated swing in one’s voice, holding the “U” in “demure” and the “I” in “mindful” a second longer than you would otherwise. Kamala Harris’ viral “You think you just fell out of a coconut tree?” is so amusing, in part, because Harris hits the first C in coconut with gusto, along with her signature sweeping hand gestures for extra flourish. The “brat” in “brat summer” is best said with a kind of flat, staccato, (and slightly British), “A”. If we take things all the way back to Vine days, we can fondly recall that the “nah” in Nash Grier’s “Do you got a bae or nah?” was said with a distinct W at the end - “nawww” instead of “naahhh.”
The sound of the trending word or phrase - the way that it’s specifically delivered - lends itself to viral potential. The particular intonation is what transforms a simple word from the English language into something far more special - something with a story somehow attached, or at the very least, a character. And that character, in true online fashion, is most often dripping in irony.
The through line between demure, mindful, coconut tree, brat summer - all of it - is its unseriousness, its playfulness. From any other individual, the advice to act more demure and mindful would have come off a bit stuffy and old-fashioned - but Jools strikes the perfect balance of chiding and kidding, allowing it to land in a manner that is clearly sarcastic. Nonetheless, like all good comedy, “demure and mindful” is not without its truth - without another side to the coin. Within an online culture that’s quite encouraging about individual expression, specifically through cultivating a personal aesthetic that turns one’s lens quite inwards, we could all use a reminder to be a bit more mindful of others and our surroundings. And, on occasion, more demure too.
What, pray tell, might deter an individual from partaking in the whimsy, silliness, and earnestness of “very demure, very mindful” then? What’s not to love?
The answer, in part, arises when the concept escapes its initial ironic context, as is unfortunately the case with many trends that revolve around femininity or being a “girl.” The 2023 “Girl dinner” trend, for instance, began as a kind of joke about the way women put meals together when they’re just cooking for themselves, assembling a hodgepodge of nonsensical leftovers, pickles, shredded cheese, and items about to rot in the back of their fridge. Nonetheless, likely due in part to the “girl” in the title, the trend began to drift into eating disorder-adjacent waters, as users posted their quite sparse “girl dinners,” consisting of cucumber slices and tzatziki or a couple of hard-boiled eggs, missing the messiness and senselessness that encapsulates the original “girl dinner” altogether. Same is the case with “I’m just a girl” or “girl math,” which initially jokingly referenced the justifications women make for human errors, stress, or frivolous purchases and later drifted into coquette/bimbo territory, being used as a pretext for diminishing brain power or hyper-fixating on one’s appearance.
You can smell people missing the point of “very demure, very mindful” about a mile away - I can personally envision it getting grandfathered into a kind of conservative version of the coquette aesthetic (mid-length hair, shoulders covered, cheeks lightly flushed). Brands in particular have a knack for removing trending buzzwords from their appropriate context - “demure” and “mindful” are the perfect candidates for a more covered-up fall wardrobe campaign. I’m already coming across listicles providing helpful guides on how to dress for a “demure fall,” correcting the wildness that we embodied during “brat summer.”
Larger media institutions - hungry to produce material that resonates with a young, hip audience - don’t understand that the point isn’t the trending words themselves, but rather, how they’re delivered, as well as the other variables at play. We’re not actually transitioning from a “brat summer” to a “demure fall” as so many publications like to cleanly insist - they are ultimately one and the same. A blending of sincerity and irony that thrive within a specific online circumstance. A circumstance that is challenging to replicate in branded TikToks and web copy designed to sincerely and solely push product and cement a convincing brand ethos. The point isn’t to dress demurely or mindfully but to pretend to be the type of woman that would, adopting her knowing, gentle cadence, cheekily admonishing bright-colored eyeshadow and cleavage-revealing blouses while knowing you’ll probably don such items on the weekend. The point is to play, to adopt a character. Taking the words at face value takes the fun out of it all.
This is why so many - on my social media feed, at least - appear to be turned off by “very demure, very mindful.” Because of the way large brands and publishers misinterpret the fun of a single moment in time and repackage it as a necessary turn in trend - as something to discuss. Because if there’s nothing to discuss, there’s no digital content to be produced - and content is necessary to capture attention, and ultimately, reap returns. If the trend wheel is taking too long to spin - if we’re lingering on brat summer too long, for example - then the stakeholders will give the wheel a subtle flick, insisting that we’re all demure and mindful now, in need of a new wardrobe or attitude to exemplify that.
Big brands and big media are clearly eager to meet small internet users where they’re at. In that case, they should approach the adoption of buzzwords - across marketing campaigns and journalism alike - with the same amount of sarcasm that they’re born with, lest they sound misguided and out-of-touch. The internet is a playground and language is one of the main toys at our disposal - trying to transform amusement into utility will inevitably fall flat.
The misuse of internet buzzwords falls in line with the larger tendency I’ve been noticing of publications leaning too much into trend journalism and mistaking trends in entertainment with trends in behavior. For essays on similar topics, check out my recent pieces “Trend Journalism” and “We Don’t Know How To Talk About Words.”
Nothing sucks the fun out of life like capitalism!
I edit and publish about 4 articles each week for a top women’s lifestyle publication. I took it upon myself to sub out the word “demure” in a piece I was editing and it triggered something within me seeing it pop up. Haven’t been able to put my finger on exactly why until I read this! You nailed it.